Split

Split was written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. It was produced by Blumhouse and I like their stuff. Much like the 'Spot Stan Lee' game, you can spot MNS in this one too.

No spoilers. Promise.

My relationship with M. Night Shyamalan is akin to a roller coaster. He makes The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable I'm like OOOH. Then he makes Signs and I'm like Mel Gibson, huh? I still haven't seen Lady in the Water, must watch that some time, or not.... The Happening was like NOTHING'S HAPPENING. After Earth was like WHY IS THIS HAPPENING. The Visit was frikken hilarious.

Marcia (Jessica Sula - Recovery Road) and Claire (Haley Lu Richardson - Recovery Road) are at a birthday party. Casey (Anya Taylor-Joy - The Witch) was invited because the rest of the class was invited and it would have been rude to exclude her, which is kinda nice.

The three girls get in the car to drive home while Claire's dad (Brian Gildea - Creed) pops a bunch of stuff in the boot of the car. But he isn't the one who gets in the driver's seat. The girls are knocked out with chloroform. They wake up in a locked room.

$500/night on Airbnb

I don't even know what to call him. I can see how this will be a problem for some reviewers. I'll say Kevin because that's his real name. Kevin (James McAvoy - X-Men: Apocalypse) has dissociative identity disorder (DID). In his head are twenty-three different identities. There's Hedwig, a nine-year old who likes Kanye; Denis, a man with OCD; Patricia, a lady who likes turtle-necks; and Barry, a fashion designer. We learn about Kevin's mental illness through his psychiatrist, Dr Karen Fletcher (Betty Buckley - Pretty Little Liars).

The girls are being held by these personalities, Casey soon figures out what is going on and tries to trick Hedwig to help the girls escape.

And that's about where I leave it. No spoilers for you!

I'll be upfront, as always, and say I got bored with this one. I kept checking my watch which is never a good thing. The whole film is about waiting for the twenty-fourth identity to be revealed (settle, petal, it's in the trailer). I felt like I was waiting for Godot. He's coming, he's coming, he's on his way... soon... after the break...

Hedwig can dance like a mofo.

Dr Fletcher bugged me to tears. This was such an annoying character who vomited up exposition like a cat who had just eaten grass. Yes, it's helpful to for the audience to know what DID is but the information was conveyed in a crappy matter. Other events in Kevin's past were also revealed with bad dialogue.

I wonder if she's related to Basil Exposition?.

Somehow Shyamalan manages to go from boring to tense to boring within a few minutes. The tension is never sustained, it's quickly washed down the drain. Didn't mean for that to rhyme. The other two girls are treated like seat-fillers at the Oscars. 

I didn't like McAvoy in this. He did a good job separating each identity and giving them their own nuances, but I didn't like his shaved head. That was the most unnerving thing about the film. His head. I was fine with it being shaved in X-Men but there's something about it in this film that irks me. I was irked.

Fashion killa.

Anya Taylor-Joy, on the other hand, was mesmerising. There is a dark, dark subplot underneath Split what involves Casey which, while it is traumatic, has little payoff. It left me wondering if all those flashbacks were worth it. In some ways I felt cheated - like the 'payoff' was too easy.... The ending was too easy as well.

If you haven't seen The Witch with Taylor-Joy, do it now. I'll wait. Frankly, if it weren't for her, I probably would have lost interest early on. She saves the film. I can't wait to see her in Morgan.

If someone understands why the thing that happened on the train had to happen on the train please let me know. Much confusement over that bit.

There's a very nice staircase in the film.

I must say though, the last two minutes of the film were super cool and I do hope something will become of that. PLEASE.

Things I learnt: including a bathroom in the same space where you keep captives is very thoughtful; even different identities need their own toothbrushes; label your keys.

Eh.
Four out of ten.