The Martian

Sup, dear reader! Apologies for the lack of posting, all kinds of stuff going on. Now there is less stuff so let's get to it.

Remember that film where Matt Damon played that guy who got stuck on a planet that also starred Jessica Chastain? This is another one. Talk about being typecast.

The Martian was directed by Ridley Scott (Prometheus, A Good Year), and written by Drew Goddard (The Cabin in the Woods, World War Z). The film is an adaptation of Andy Weir's book of the same name. I think I'll be purchasing his book pretty darn soon.

Mark Watley (Matt Damon - Interstellar, Bourne 5 WOO-FRICKETY-HOO!)  is one of six astronauts from the Ares 3 mission collecting soil samples on Mars and talking smack to each other. A massive storm hits their base and Commander Melissa Lewis (Jessica Chastain - Interstellar, Zero Dark Thirty) decides to abort the mission and head back home. The wind is fierce and if their rocket ship (can't remember the name of it) topples over (because it stands upright) they have no chance leaving the planet.

 Worst place to play hide and seek ever.

The crew head to the rocket ship but Mark is smacked in the head by a flying heavy thing. His space suit is punctured. The crew thinks he is dead. They take off. Lewis tells the Director of NASA, Teddy Sanders (Jeff Daniels - The Newsroom, The Answer Man) the bad news. Sanders then relays this information to the world.

Surprise! Mark is not dead otherwise this would have been a very short film. He wakes up and finds a metal spike has speared his suit and himself. He makes his way back to base camp, operates on himself, and staples up the wound. What a dude. That was the least of his problems.

 The 405 was running late that day.

Mark needs food, water, oxygen. He will be stuck on Mars for a very long time. Thankfully, Mark is a botanist, the best botanist on the planet. He is also stuck with Lewis' music collection which consists of disco, disco, and more disco. And no, Gloria Estefan, Mark Watley will not turn the beat around.

Months later, NASA finds out he is alive and gosh darn it, they'll bring him home no matter the cost, as long as it's within budget.

 Mark Watley: Very Not Dead.

What follows is a harrowing and uplifting tale of survival that tests the human spirit. Also poop, potatoes, and duct tape.

Mother effing wow.

The rest of the cast includes Kristen Wiig, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sean Bean (with a very funny Lord of the Rings reference) (spoiler - he doesn't die!), Kate Mara, Sebastian Stan, MacKenzie Davis, Michael Pena, Donald Glover, Aksel Hennie. I mean Jeebus, what a list of names! Matt Damon's Watley is funny, likeable, filled with hope - he does a fantastic job. I can't wait until he does another film about another guy stuck on another planet.

The Martian is one of those rare beasts that has a perfect mix of everything needed to make a brilliant film. Action, comedy (lots of comedy - Watley is frikken hilarious), drama, bad weather, good weather, lots of red dirt, all that emotion stuff, science fiction and fact, complex mathematical equations that Neil DeGrasse Tyson is probably going to tweet about, all the things. AND it looks amazing. I may or may not have gotten a bit teary at the end.

While I was watching, I kept thinking if this was the 'next' Apollo 13. Yes, the events in that film actually happened, but this one had the same feel. And who knows, maybe something like this will happen in the future. Life imitates art and all that. Everything felt so real and familiar - especially the bit when the guys at NASA were trying to get Mark off the planet by using only the materials that he had access to - very Apollo 13. 

Things I learnt: Murphy's Law is universal; don't dig up the big box of plutonium; engineers need coffee.

Must see.
Ten out of ten.