
Red Riding Hood is directed by Catherine Hardwicke of Twilight fame (or infamy perhaps). This is David Johnson's second feature film, the first being Orphan. He also wrote the screenplay for the in-production Wrath of the Titans.
As a young girl Valerie (Amanda Seyfried - Jennifer's Body) liked to hold hands with boys and kill bunnies. The boy in question grew up to be Peter (Shiloh Fernandez - Jericho), an impeccably groomed wood cutter.
For generations, their small snowy hamlet has been plagued by a werewolf but no one has been killed in a while thanks to their monthly animal sacrifices. That is until one day, Valerie's younger sister is found dead.
After a brief funeral and a trip to the pub, the town's men-folk all decide to hunt down the wolf. Lead by The Reeve (the awesome Michael Hogan - Battlestar Galactica) the dudes come back minus one of them (aww) but plus a wolf's head. Yay them.
Enter Solomon (Gary Oldman - The Dark Knight) with his wisdom and silver fingernails (really?). He tells everyone that the wolf is not dead and, that it is in fact *gasp* one of them.
Dun dun duuuun.
Not to fear however, he and his super dudes will save the day.
Or will they?
Dun dun duuuun.
Glances are swapped and fingers are pointed as paranoia spreads through the village. Questions must be asked. Who is the wolf? Where can I get a giant cast-iron elephant? What brands of hair product did they have in the Middle Ages? Did they really have slutty girl-on-girl dancing then too?
There's also a love triangle between Val, the wood cutter and the hot blacksmith that takes up a lot of time.
While it could have been an interesting film it ended up being kinda mediocre. Hardwicke uses waaay too much 'stalker cam' in this film and too many extreme close-ups of eyes, it started to get creepy and in-your-face. The performances were OK with no stand outs. It really should have been a horror film, like with heaps of blood and gore and stuff.
I think Valerie saying, "What big eyes you have..." and so on was quite a low point.
Things I learnt: don't trust anyone with brown eyes; werewolves like bacon so I must be a werewolf; killing bunnies is bad?
The coat was nice.
Four out of ten.
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