The Conjuring 2

It's been five weeks since I stepped foot in a cinema. I was on holidays then I got sick for a couple of weeks but now I'm back DAMMIT! And just my luck, a horror film was released today; it was meant to be.

The Conjuring 2 was directed by James Wan (all horror films from the last thirteen years), who co-wrote the screenplay with the Hayes boys, Chad and Carey. They also wrote the first installment of The Conjuring. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren (Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) are back investigating the paranormal. It's the 1970s, see, and people are wearing corduroy and listening to Elvis.

The Warrens are called to investigate the possible paranormal happens of a house. This is not just any house. This is The Amityville Horror house. If you haven't seen the film based on the real murders of the DeFeo family, I'll wait here for you while you do. Watch the 1979 version, not the remake. And, for the love of bacon, don't watch any of the sequels. OK, good.

So, Lorraine goes into the basement of the DeFeo house and sees a demon dressed in a Nun's habit. This scares the bejeebus out of her. There's also a creepy 70s kid.

Worst family photo ever.

Later in 1977, a family in Enfield, England are also having paranormal happenings that need investigating.

Eleven year-old Janet Hodgson (Madison Wolfe - Keanu) and her fourteen year-old sister Margaret (Lauren Esposito) are playing around with a home-made Ouija board. They ask questions but get no answers. Everyone goes to bed. Film over. Done.

Janet wakes up in the middle of the night on the lounge room floor in front of a creepy-looking leather arm chair. She thinks she was just sleepwalking. Later, she hears loud knocks at her door.

 Don't let the Westboro Baptist Church do your decorating.

The following things happen in no particular order:

• Toy turns itself on and makes noise but doesn't wake up anyone else in the house. 
• Kid's teepee made out of sheets.
• Loud noises.
• Flickering lights.
• Shaking beds.

 Janet starts channeling a cranky old man called Bill (Bob Adrian - 12 Monkeys). When Janet tries to watch The Goodies on the telly, Bill changes the channel to watch Margaret Thatcher give a speech. The Hodgson's are being haunted by the ghost of a Tory who steals the TV remote. Now that is scary.

Their mother Penny (Francis O'Connor - Cleverman) turns to her priest for help. He gets in contact with the Warrens.

Bless this cupboard.

James Wan has carved out a big chunk of the horror genre since Saw was released in 2003. Thankfully, his films are generally of a better quality that a lot of others out there. One of his other franchises, Insidious, is also well done. Although there is one thing that bugged me with all this. Patrick Wilson stars in The Conjuring and Insidious so I couldn't remember if his character was the same in both films, were they connected somehow? The answers are no and no. I just have a terrible memory when it comes to horror films (insert plug for my #EpicHorrorMovieRewatch). It's a small quibble but it did take me away from the story trying to work it out.

Madison Wolfe must be awarded with Best Performance in a Horror Film or something like that. She was absolutely brilliant. Wolfe was twelve at the time of filming and already has eighteen credits on imdb. Frikken wow. Her terror was palpable.

 Heeeeeere's Janet!

The Conjuring 2 is a good horror flick. It takes a lot for me to say that but I really enjoyed this one. Granted, it lost me about an hour in but the third act was gripping and kept me engaged for the remainder of the film. Some of the film went back and forth from the Amityville case and the Enfield case and I could have watched full movies on both of those cases. I did groan a little when I saw the word 'Amityville' on the screen, purely because there have been so many shit sequels, but I was excited with what they did with that story. I can't remember if the Warrens were depicted in the 1979 film but I'm just about to watch it to find out.

Yes, there were tropes aplenty and some cheap scares but the story was interesting. That is what matters. There was also a dog who rang a bell at the door when it had to go outside to pee.

For the record, James Wan's current muses, Ed and Lorraine Warren, have investigated many more cases so I'm sure there will be many more films about them.

I don't know if this is part of a marketing campaign but the actual Amityville House is on the market again. So if you want to live in the murder house, apply within.

Things I learnt: Don't buy a fully-furnished house; home-made Ouija boards are just as good as ones from the store; don't turn off The Goodies.

Boo.
Seven out of ten.