Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

It's time to get your swashes buckled and your timbers shivered, again, with the latest installment of Disney's multi-billion dollar franchise. Global financial crisis? What global financial crisis?
Chicago director Rob Marshall takes the helm along with regular Disney scribes Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio. There's a bunch of other dudes who have writing credits on imdb.com too...
It's been some time since Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp - all the other Pirates flicks) did whatever it was he did in the last film. I don't remember much of it, they all start to blur into one after a while.
Jack ain't too happy. Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush - all the other Pirates flicks) has lost Jack's ship, the Black Pearl and he wants it back. Jack saves the neck of his first mate Gibbs (Kevin McNally - all the other Pirates flicks) in an action scene involving a lovely decorated room and a cream bun. Sparrow escapes and heads to the pub to hunt down an impostor. Someone else is using his name to put together a crew to search for the Fountain of Youth. The King/Duke/Royal dude and the Spanish are also after the legendary spring. The Impostor turns out to be Jack's former flame Angelica (Penelope Cruz - Nine) who looks great in a moustache.
Jack and a few other sailor dudes find themselves on one of the most feared pirate ships ever to exist... The Queen Anne's Revenge. The captain is one of the most feared pirate ever to exist, Edward Teach, a.k.a Blackbeard (Ian McShane - Deadwood). Ol' Blackie is after the fountain as well.
Their shopping list involves an ancient map, a couple of silver chalices from Ponce de Leon's ship and tears of a mermaid. Gone is the image of Ariel singing on her rock with her friend Sebastian, these mermaids have teeth and a bad habit of kissing first then drowning later.
Along for the ride is captured missionary Philip (Sam Clafin - United) who falls for the not-so-murdery-mermaid Syrena (Astrid Berges-Frisbey - First Snow) in a sub-plot that doesn't really go anywhere. It seemed like his character was forced upon the film by Christian lobby groups...
It's a race to the fountain, but will there be anyone left alive to claim the prize? Of course there will, it's a kids film.
For some reason this film reminded me sooo much of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Same plot points I guess. I was expecting to hear Robert Eddison's voice somewhere say 'He chose... poorly.' but alas, it never came.
The sets are gorgeous - The Queen Anne's Revenge looked amazing. The costumes are great too. Someone did a good job in hiding Penelope Cruz's massive baby bump!
I saw it in 3D - it looked great but it didn't seem critical to the story. There were a few swords pointed in my face but that was as far as the gimmicks went. Although the way Syrena's scales would appear then disappear as she dipped in and out of the water was so well done.
For a pirates film, they seems to spend a long time on the land. Just saying.
Lots of laughs and well choreographed fight scenes, make sure you stay till after the credits!
Part five is inevitable.
Things I learnt: leave the bun alone; nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition; always mention something that might just warrant another sequel before the and credits roll.
Arrr.
Seven out of ten.