Skyline

Cloverfield with fairy lights.
More lens flares than a JJ Abrams movie.
That is what ran through my head for most of the picture. What was going through my head the rest of the time you ask? I'll get to that...
Directors and brothers Colin and Greg Strause are no strangers to visual effects; a quick glance at their resume on imdb.com shows that. The bros that gave us Alien Vs Predator: Requiem are back to give us something just as big and loud and laden with CGI.
A couple of other visual effects guys from AVP Joshua Cordes and Liam O'Donnell wrote the screenplay.
Before I begin, anyone who is planning to write a scary movie had first better read this book.
Thank you.
Jarrod (Eric Balfour - Haven) and Elaine (Scottie Thompson - Star Trek) are visiting Jarrod's best mate Terry (Donald Faison - Turk from Scrubs) and his 'token bitch' girlfriend Candice (Brittany Daniel - Club Dread) in Los Angeles. It's Terry's birthday and the gang hang out in Terry's penthouse apartment that has... killer views.
In the middle of the night (4:27am to be precise) bright shiny lights shine through the blinds and the place rumbles. Some dude (Neil Hopkins - Lost)(Charlie's brother Liam) goes all Carol-Ann and looks into the light. He disappears and makes a girl cry.
Jarrod investigates and also looks into the light. Lucky for him he doesn't look into the light for too long, but long enough for his tats to start growing. OK, so his tats don't start growing but his veins go all veiny and looks like his tats are growing.
Panic fills the room as the five who are left see the big alien things out in the sky sucking people up like they were two minute noodles.
Cue The Clash's 'Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now'.
They decide to leave the safety of the apartment and head to the marina across the street because Jarrod thinks that being in a boat would be safer. The building's supervisor Oliver (David Zayas - Dexter) has keys to everywhere.. but not his head.
Things get bad, people die, poor decisions are made.
Anyone who watches this film will be well equipped should an actual alien invasion occur. This film is the perfect example of what not to do.
I like making lists...
1. Thou shalt not leave where you are. Bathrooms are small and safe and rarely have floor to ceiling windows.
2. Thou shalt not under any circumstances say 'WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK' (Oh yes he frikken did!).
3. Thou shalt not choose the topless convertible to drive around in the streets when aliens are circling overhead.
4. Thou shalt not live in a building that still hasn't worked out that one way doors on the roof are pathetic plot devices.
5. Thou shall share any information you have with anyone you meet.
6. Thou shalt not cure alien possession with an icepack.
7. Thou shalt NOT have poorly written conversations with those around you.
You get the drift...
This is another one of those formula movies that just don't seem to add up. Terry's wealth seemed to be all the rage in the beginning but I have no idea what he did for a living. Was it that important?
I love Dexter to death but David Zayas has been getting some wonky dialogue lately on the show, and now in this. If I were him I'd give my agent a call...
It felt like I was watching one stupid decision after another sprinkled with some pretty cool effects. Where does all the money go? There was some very nice artwork in Terry's apartment.
And just when I thought it was all over it smacked me in the head with a big bowl of WTF. What the fuck was that ending about? Are you fucking serious??? If that happened to Jarrod then why didn't it happen TO ANYONE ELSE????????? Yeesh.
Less nauseating than Cloverfield but more maddening. There was a scene early on when the people at Terry's party were spying on the inhabitants of a neighbouring highrise with a telescope; the way they reacted to what they saw was quite offensive and really unneccesary.
Good effects does not a good movie make.
Four out of ten.