Poltergeist 2015

Here is usually where I rant about remaking horror films. I was especially ranty when they first announced this one because Poltergeist was one of my favourite horror flicks from my childhood. This time it's personal...

Poltergeist (2015) was directed by Gil Kenan who also directed City of Ember. If you haven't seen it I do recommend it, it's very good and it has Bill Murray! The screenplay was written by David Lindsay-Abaire who also wrote Oz the Great and Powerful. The film is, of course, a remake of Tobe Hooper's 1982 classic horror flick which was written by Steven Spielberg. We're remaking Spielberg films now?

Meet the Bowens. There's Eric (Sam Rockwell - Moon), who has just been laid off from his job. His wife Amy (Rosemarie DeWitt - Digging for Fire) who has stopped work to write a book. Their angsty teen Kendra (Saxon Sharbino - Touch), anxiety-ridden middle-child Griffin (Kyle Catlett - The Following), and their youngest and cutest, Maddy (Kennedi Clements - Rogue).

 Don't go in there.

The Bowens have just moved into a house right next door to a bunch of high voltage power lines. But that is the least of their worries. The house, as we know from the original, was built on a cemetery. The graves were supposed to be relocated but, in the interests of cutting costs (and forward-moving plots) (no pun intended) (or was it), they only moved the headstones. We find this out very early in the film.

Little Maddy starts talking to the television which is something I do often. But hers talks back. Griffin finds a freaky-looking clown which scares the bejeezus out of him, and there's a scary tree outside his window. Kendra's phone dies. The horror... the horror...

Don't turn around. GAH! Warned you.

One night, Eric and Amy go out for dinner leaving Kendra in charge. Everything goes to shit which is what happens when you leave your kids alone in a haunted house. They get home to find Maddy has gone missing. This is a classic case of bad parenting.

We all know the story but, as with many remakes these days, there are many changes. There is (sadly) no pot-smoking scene and there's no "Stay away from the light, Carol-Anne". Carol-Anne isn't even Carol-Anne anymore. Her name, like the film itself, has been modernised.

Don't do this either.

On the whole, I enjoyed this one, but this journey was very different than the original film. I still have that scene in my head of the tables and chairs being stacked on each other in the original film. The build up was slower, more suspenseful. The bit at the end with the mother stuck in the gluggy pool surrounded by skeletons was so creepy. The dad peeling his face off in front of the mirror! There is none of that in this one. The horror has been toned down even though both versions are PG13. Maybe 2015 PG13 is a lot tamer than 1982 PG13.

As mentioned above, we find out pretty early that the house was built over a cemetery. In the 1982 version, that was pretty much the punchline of the film. There's something off with the pacing of the remake. Maybe that's just the problem with remakes, no matter how much new paint you put on it, it's going to end up the same way. There is no room for revelation anymore and this is something that the genre of horror relies on heavily, that twist at the end, the "Oh, it was that guy's brother's dog walker all along..." It's just not present.

 Your worst nightmares... now in 1080p!

The problem with horror films, and the reason why there will always be remakes, is special effects. The 1982 version, while ground-breaking at the time, almost looks like Wallace and Gromit on acid today. It hasn't aged very well. The new one is slicker and what you'd expect from CGI these days. The inclusion of a few modernities are most welcomed, I loved how paranormal investigator Carrigan Burke (Jared Harris - Mad Men) has his own reality TV show.

Which is the better of the two? It's hard to say, the original has sentimental value and more horror, but this one has Sam Rockwell and looks really good. Much of a muchness really. It's like comparing apples and oranges or things with other things that aren't the same as the first things. Speaking of things...

Things I learnt: ghosts like LCD screens just as much as the old CRT; don't put an anxious kid in the attic; this blog is clean.

Pretty good.
Six out of ten.