Dorian Gray

The Picture of Dorian Gray
by Oscar Wilde


I do hope that one day scientists will be able to locate in our DNA the gene that is responsible for making one cringe when one hears the words 'book to film adaptation.' I think it must be related to the gene that also gets one all excited when the word 'comic' is added as a prefix.
It is a fact that it's rare to find a film that lives up to the author's intentions. Sad to say that Oscar Wilde's 'The Picture of Dorian Gray' didn't exactly live up to his readers expectations in the high-collared, no ankle showing, Victorian era. Reading through the notes in the appendix show dozens of places were Wilde had to re-write his work to suit the prudish standards of the time.
I thought I'd review the book and the film as I experienced both around the same time. Unfortunately the film suffered one of those 'blink and you'll miss it' theatrical releases that plague so many good films these days. Curse you Multiplex! We need more Antiplexes with frozen coke machines!
The book is, as is the subject in the title, a masterpiece. Wilde delves into the obsession of beauty and youth and how it consumes young Dorian Gray (played by Ben Barnes of Prince Caspian fame) to make an almost devilish pact to trade his age and the physical manifestations of his experiences with a portrait painted by his loyal friend Basil Hallward (Ben Chaplin). Gray is taken under the darkly plumaged wing of Lord Henry Wotton (Colin Firth) as he shows Gray the 'underbelly' of the 1890's.
Director Oliver Parker has some prior experience in the Wilde-verse having also directed 'The Importance of Being Ernest' and 'An Ideal Husband' and that does relate to the screen. He does however miss some key plot points of the book, taking Gray on a journey through brothels and opium dens and leaving out his obsession with an unnamed, poisonous French novel that his new hedonistic friend gives him. The book turns Gray ravenous for information, studying everything from art to tapestries to fashion and also into the debauchery and murder that constantly alter his portrait.
The film is well shot with dark streets and its decaying inhabitants. I do think there may have been someone more suited to the role of Gray than Ben Barnes. He was good, I'll give him that, but he just didn't show enough of the madness that his obsessions turned in to. I can't think of an alternative at the moment but I'm sure there is someone... No, not R-Pattz! And I must say I do have a hard time seeing Colin Firth as a bad guy. He is type cast in stone, for me at least, as the perennially pouty, brooding, wet t-shirt competition winning Mr Darcy from BBC's Pride and Prejudice. I'm sure all the other ladies will agree : ) Lets take a moment to swoon...
*sigh*
One thing that stands out in both the book and the film is the language of Oscar Wilde. His witty quips and observations of society are still yet to be equalled. His continued love affair with art and beauty soak the pages with a heavy perfume. It is quite a lofty scent and requires frequent pauses to take it all in, but my, what an experience.
I think the best thing to do (as with most adaptations) is to read the book first, then watch the film. You'll get so much more out of both that way.
Enjoy with a nice hot pot of English Breakfast tea and toasted crumpets.

Tish and Pish

Tish and Pish
How to be of a speakingness like Stephen Fry
A delicious collection of sumptious gorgeosities
by Stewart Ferris

I found this little beauty on amazon.com
Stephen Fry, aka His Royal Fryness, is my number one imaginary dinner guest and has been for years. He is, without a doubt, the most eloquent speaker on the planet, nay, the whole universe. What's interesting is that Russell Brand is sometimes voted as number two...
Give Stephen Fry one word and he'll give you one hundred back. Stewart Ferris has read Fry's books, gone through his speeches and television and movie performances and compiled an 'English to Fry' translating dictionary as it were. Take one everyday phrase, Fry-ise it and you'll be of a talkingness like Fry himself.
Tish and Pish explores a whole manner of situations where such sesquipedalian prose might be in order; at the beach, buying a car, purchasing electronics, it even assists in general conversations on religion, the weather and at the tennis. On the film set one might say three little words, 'Lights, Camera, Action.' According to Ferris' book if you want to be of a speakingness like Stephen Fry then a half page monologue about what precisely is involved in those three words would ensue. For example... 'Action!' is as follows... 'A transition from a state of doing nothing (other than the natural processes of one's internal organs necessary for continued survival plus some minor muscular corrections to help with balance and comfort) to a state of being of a doingness something which in this instance clearly relates to the noble art of acting!'
Just brilliant.
It's a great little book, oodles of fun to read. It will make you question the saying 'less is more'.
The more Stephen Fry the better!

SAG Award Winners

Best bunch of Basterds

Here are the winners form the Screen Actor's Guild Awards. I gots me a case of deja vu...

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role
*Jeff Bridges, 'Crazy Heart'
George Clooney, 'Up In The Air'
Colin Firth, 'A Single Man'
Morgan Freeman, 'Invictus'
Jeremy Renner, 'The Hurt Locker'

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role
*Sandra Bullock, 'The Blind Side'
Helen Mirren, 'The Last Station'
Carey Mulligan, 'An Education'
Gabourey Sidibe, 'Precious: Based On The Novel 'Push' By Sapphire'
Meryl Streep 'Julie & Julia'

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role

Matt Damon, 'Invictus'
Woody Harrelson, 'The Messenger'
Christopher Plummer, 'The Last Station'
Stanley Tucci, 'The Lovely Bones'
*Christoph Waltz, 'Inglourious Basterds'

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role
Penelope Cruz, 'Nine'
Vera Farmiga, 'Up In The Air'
Anna Kendrick, 'Up In The Air'
Diane Kruger, 'Inglourious Basterds'
*Mo'Nique, 'Precious: Based On The Novel 'Push' By Sapphire'

Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture
'An Education'
'The Hurt Locker'
*'Inglourious Basterds'
'Nine'
'Precious: Based On The Novel 'Push' By Sapphire'

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series
'The Closer'
'Dexter'
'The Good Wife'
*'Mad Men'
'True Blood'

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
'30 Rock'
'Curb Your Enthusiasm'
*'Glee'
'Modern Family'
'The Office'

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series
Simon Baker, 'The Mentalist'
Bryan Cranston, 'Breaking Bad'
*Michael C. Hall, 'Dexter'
Jon Hamm, 'Mad Men'
Hugh Laurie, 'House'

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actress in a Drama Series
Patricia Arquette, 'Medium'
Glenn Close, 'Damages'
Mariska Hargitay, 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'
Holly Hunter, 'Saving Grace'
*Julianna Margulies, 'The Good Wife'
Kyra Sedgwick, 'The Closer'

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series
*Alec Baldwin, '30 Rock'
Steve Carell, 'The Office'
Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'
Tony Shalhoub, 'Monk'
Charlie Sheen, 'Two and a Half Men'

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actress in a Comedy Series
Christina Applegate, 'Samantha Who?'
Toni Collette, 'The United States of Tara'
Edie Falco, 'Nurse Jackie'
*Tina Fey, '30 Rock'
Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, 'The New Adventures of Old Christine'

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries
*Kevin Bacon, 'Taking Chance'
Cuba Gooding, Jr., 'Gifted Hands'
Jeremy Irons, 'Georgia O'Keefe'
Kevin Kline, 'Great Performances: Cyrano de Bergerac'
Tom Wilkinson, 'A Number'

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actress in a Television Movie or Miniseries
Joan Allen, 'Georgia O'Keefe'
*Drew Barrymore, 'Grey Gardens'
Ruby Dee, 'America'
Jessica Lange, 'Grey Gardens'
Sigourney Weaver, 'Prayers for Bobby'

Sin City

The movie based on three of Frank Miller’s seven volume graphic novels Sin City has just hit a cinema near you. It seems to be the month of book-to-film adaptations, with the likes of DC Comic’s Batman: Begins (which rocks!!) and Marvel’s Fantastic Four (don’t forget to play the ‘Spot the Stan Lee’ game), but I must say, Sin City easily takes the cake and is literally a work of art.
Shot and cut by one of my favourite directors, Robert Rodriguez (El Mariachi Trilogy, From Dusk Till Dawn), he also brings along friend Quentin Tarantino as ‘guest director’ for one of the scenes.
Miller was quite skeptical about adapting his graphic novels to film – afraid that they would be ‘Hollywood-ised’, but when Rodriguez showed him his vision, Miller ended up co-directing, which helps add authenticity to the film, and they’re both working on Sin City 2 - due out next year and Sin City 3 – penned in for 2008! Frank Miller has written and penciled for both Marvel and DC Comics, working on DareDevil and X-Men and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. He also co-created Robocop.
With one of the biggest line-ups I’ve seen in a long time – Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, an unrecognizable Mickey Rourke, Jessica Alba, Michael Madsen, Brittany Murphy, Rosario Dawson, Clive Owen, Elijah Wood, Nick Stahl, Josh Hartnett, Devon Aoli, the list goes on – it is a film most not to be missed.
The film is shot in black and white, which makes you feel like you are reading one of the novels. Freeze any frame and it could be a page straight out of the book. The only colour is the occasional flash of red on a dress or a pair of shoes, the green in a pair of eyes, the yellow jaundiced skin of one of the bad guys.
The movie is dark, ultra-violent and full of black humour with many of the characters hell-bent on dishing out their own unique style of vigilante justice. Mickey Rourke plays Marv, a giant of a man who doesn’t think he’s quite all there, framed for the murder of Goldie, a high-class prostitute and the only woman to care about him. Throughout his part in the movie he sustains numerous injuries (being on the wrong side of guns, baseball bats…) that would have left the average movie hero – well - dead, but Marv, much like Miller’s Robocop, only gets stronger. And many of the bad guys end up with a few less appendages than what they started with.
Clive Owen is fantastic as Dwight, a Private Eye out for the blood of Jackie Boy (Del Toro). After Jackie Boy is shot, Dwight teams up with the warrior-like prostitutes of Basin City’s Old Town, to help stop the inevitable war between the women and the police. Rosario Dawson is Gail - the leader of the prostitutes, dressed in leather with matching firearm accessories. This is where Tarantino comes in to direct a scene between Dwight and Jackie Boy, racing in a car with a trunk full of bodies.
The final story is with Hartigan (Willis), an old cop with a bad ticker. In the beginning of the movie, we see Hartigan save an eleven year old Nancy Callahan from a yellow-skinned, child molester with family in high places. Eight years later Nancy (now played by Jessica Alba) is working as a stripper one of the local bars and is still being hunted down.
Robert Rodriguez fans – look out for his next flick The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D – coming soon!

Pride and Prejudice

Bonnets-a-plenty

‘It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife’. Thus wrote Jane Austen about two hundred years ago, and today, Pride and Prejudice is still one of the most loved classics ever written.
This latest remake, directed by Joe Wright and starring Keira Knightley (Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2 & 3) as the strong-willed yet charming Elizabeth Bennet, is the first time the story has been on the big screen since the 1940’s.
Now for those of you who think that this kind of movie is just full of girls staring wistfully, wearing bonnets and doing cross-stitch, you are oh, so very wrong. This is the story that Bridget Jones’ Diary was based on! OK, so it does have bonnets, wistful stares but only a little bit of cross-stitching – and so much more!
Set in England, 1797, it’s the story of the Bennet family. Mrs Bennet (Brenda Blethyn – Saving Grace) has five daughters and high hopes (as all respectable mothers do) that they will all be happily married to up-standing gentlemen who earn handsome amounts of pounds each year. So, when news hits Longbourn that an extremely eligible bachelor by the name of Mr Bingley (Simon Woods) is about to take residence nearby, Mrs Bennet is determined to pass off one of her daughters to him. But, accompanying Mr Bingley is his friend Mr Fitzwilliam Darcy (Matthew MacFadyen – Enigma), an overtly conceited, arrogant man, with a penchant for brooding.

While Mr Bingley has his heart set on the eldest of the daughters, Jane Bennet (Rosamund Pike – Die Another Day), Darcy takes a fancy to Elizabeth, but is too proud to show the slightest bit of affection.
Tempers flare, words are said (in the politest possible way) leaving the air between Darcy & Elizabeth so thick with friction you couldn’t navigate a coach through it. Back at Longbourn, the other Bennet sisters are having their brush with the hope of matrimonial bliss, their tediously dreary cousin Mr Collins (Tom Hollander - Gosford Park) visits the house and tries to marry Elizabeth, while a very patient (and very well played) Mr Bennet (Donald Sutherland – Cold Mountain), says to Elizabeth, ‘Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins... And I will never see you again if you do.’
I was slightly apprehensive when going to see this remake. I am such a fan of the 1995 BBC TV version with Jennifer Ehle and the scorching good looks of Colin Firth, I didn’t think anyone could do it justice. Gladly I was wrong! MacFadyen measures up to Firth with his portrayal of Darcy and Keira Knightley was surprisingly good as Elizabeth, adding a more ‘tom-boy’ feeling to her character.
Austen’s sharpness of wit still carries its weight even two hundred years after the book was written. My friend’s and I (and someone’s Mum) couldn’t stop laughing throughout the film (except for the weepy bits) it was simply brilliant. A must see for absolutely everyone who wants to go and see a great film (and those who just want a peep at the new Darcy!)

Elizabethtown

Elizabethtown, written and directed by Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous) is about Drew Baylor (Orlando Bloom, mmmm) a shoe designer who has just lost the shoe company almost one billion dollars and his girlfriend Ellen (Jennifer Biel) leaves him. Things aren’t going so great. He plans to commit suicide (in a very imaginative way) but is interrupted by a phone call from his sister Heather (Judy Greer) telling him that their father has passed away. Drew makes his way to Elizabethtown, Kentucky where his father grew up to take his body back home to Oregon to be buried. On the flight over he meets a very talkative flight attendant, Claire (Kirsten Dunst).
Meanwhile back at home, his mother Hollie (Susan Sarandon) is dealing with grief in her own way. She starts to lean cooking, mechanics and tap dancing.
When Drew gets to Elizabeth town, he meets the rest of his family, all of whom want his father to be cremated – not buried.
Watching the flick – it reminded me a lot of Zach Braff’s Garden State – family member dies, prodigal son returns home, meets girl, falls in love with girl, comes to some realisation about his family, his life etc. It was a bit too familiar. And does Cameron Crowe like road trips! After spending most of Almost Famous on a bus, Elizabethtown spends the last past of the film in a car as Drew makes his way home via a map that Claire has made for him.
Summing up – Elizabethtown was a nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

The Proposition

The Proposition, written by singer/songwriter Nick Cave and directed by John Hillcoat (Ghosts… of the Civil Dead) is a dark movie about a very dark time in Australian history. Commissioned by the Queensland Department of Natural Resources and Mines, it is the story about the Burns gang - Irish brothers Arthur (Danny Huston), Charlie (Guy Pearce) and Mike (Richard Wilson).
It’s the 1880’s in the Australian outback. Arthur Burns, the oldest brother of the three, has just brutally murdered the Hopkins family and the law officers are after him. Charlie and Mike are so horrified by what Arthur has committed; they leave their brother and flee. The officers catch Charlie and the youngest brother Mike. Captain Morris Stanley (Ray Winstone), an English policeman, makes Charlie a proposition. Stanley will save the youngest brother (Mike) from being hung if Charlie kills Arthur. He sets out to track him down in the unforgiving landscape.
As I said, this is a dark film and deserving of its R rating. The acting is brilliant, especially Winstone as Stanley, not only trying to track down Arthur Burns, but also trying to protect his wife Martha (Emily Watson – Red Dragon) from the harsh reality of their new-found home. Martha was good friends with the family that was murdered.
It’s bloody and there are heaps of flies. The Proposition picked up four AFI Awards including Best Score for Nick Cave’s haunting soundtrack and Best Cinematography. We live in a beautiful country – but it’s a shame about our past.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Desperate to find a movie to review – I got my hands on a preview of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (LXG, shame it’s abbreviation wasn’t LEG!) and thanked the heavens that I didn’t pay to see it at the cinema, apologies to those that did. It had the ingredients to be a good movie… Director Stephen Norrington of Blade fame, a decent size cast, Sean Connery (Indiana Jones 3, James Bond) Stuart Townsend (Queen of the Damned), Aussies Peta Wilson (TV’s La Femme Nikita) and Richard Roxborough (Moulin Rouge, MI:2), and a story based on a comic book series written by Alan Moore (From Hell) and Kevin O’Neill. We’ve seen over the past couple of years that resurrecting comic books on to the big screen normally works with the likes of X-Men, Hulk and Spiderman (purposefully forgetting DareDevil, ok!). But something went horribly wrong when Frankenstein flicked the ‘life switch’ on this one.
The League is comprised of great literary characters Allan Quartermain, Mina Harker, Dorian Gray, Dr Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, Captain Nemo, the Invisible Man, and my favourite, Special Agent Tom Sawyer from the American Secret Service. Sounds like it could be worth watching or at least reading, but the plot was rice paper thin, the dialogue, oh the dialogue, worse than 90 minutes of corny one liners from Bond films and Arnie movies! It did have a couple of memorable moments though; a whole troupe of bad guys dressed up like Ned Kelly armed with flame-throwers and one bad guy mutating into a huge beast of a thing and someone asking, “What is that thing?” and the reply – “It’s Neil.”
LXG gets my Bad Cheese Award. So far it is the worst movie I’ve seen this year (I know it’s early on, but I watch a lot!) and I feel it will be a tough one to beat. The idea was there, but… just not my cup of English Breakfast tea. Quite ordinary.

Lemony Snickets - A Series of Unfortunate Events

Lemony Snicket, the narrator of the movie (Jude Law, Alfie), is an insurance agent investigating a series of unfortunate events that happened to three children – Violet, age 14, the inventor of the family, Klaus, 12, avid reader with a photographic memory and Sunny Baudelaire an infant who likes to bite things. Their parents dead, their family house burnt to the ground, the children are sent to their closest living relative (close due to distance, not by blood) Count Olaf, (Jim Carrey, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). The children have inherited a very large fortune from their parents but aren’t allowed to have it until Violet, the eldest, is 18.

The devious Count (who considers himself quite the actor and master of disguise) hears of the fortune and does his best to bump the children off to get their money. But being the extraordinary children that they are, they certainly give the Count a run for his money. With each failed (yet at the time, ingenious) attempt – the children get shipped off to the next relative and in turn, Count Olaf shows up in various disguises.

Directed by usual TV director Brad Silberling, the film is based on the first three ‘Lemony Snicket’s’ books by Daniel Handler, ‘The Bad Beginning’, ‘The Reptile Room’, and ‘The Wide Window’. It is a deliciously dark film (dark for a kiddies film anyway) with lush, rich sets, so full of detail and beautifully directed, and I must say, I enjoyed it much more than Harry Potter (and I’m a big fan!). Up and coming Aussie actress Emily Browning and the other children are just superb as the genius kids and the list of actors in smaller roles is very impressive, from Billy Connelly as Uncle Montgomery Montgomery, Meryl Streep as their Aunt Josephine, Catherine O’Hara, and even Dustin Hoffman.

A must see for any one of any age these holidays, and if you don’t like Jim Carrey (who, incidentally, does a flawless performance), he wears so much make up and prosthetics in this flick, you’ll hardly recognise him!!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Roald Dahl’s most delectable children’s book has been Burton-ised. One of my all time favourite directors, Tim Burton (Edward Scissor Hands, Sleepy Hollow), has adapted his own unique, quirky style to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Released in cinemas just in time for the up and coming school holidays, this movie will delight and amaze absolutely everyone, no matter what age they are, and even if you don’t like chocolate.
Marilyn Manson was rather keen to play the role of the most famous Chocolateer in the entire world, Willy Wonka, but this movie is rated PG so thankfully Johnny Depp won the part instead. This is the fourth time Depp and Burton have teamed up together, and every single time they do, it’s something just that extra bit special. And speaking about teaming up together, Johnny Depp was so impressed with Freddie Highmore’s performance as Peter in Finding Neverland, he made sure Burton cast his in the role as Charlie Bucket - and what an amazing job this boy did.
For those of you who haven’t seen the 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory starring Gene Wilder, or read the book (what have you been doing??) it’s the story of Charlie Bucket, a poor young boy who lives in a broken down shack with his parents, played by Noah Taylor and Helen Bonham-Carter, dining every night on cabbage soup, and both sets of grandparents confined to the one bed. After closing down his factory to the public and firing all his workers, Willy Wonka has never let anyone set foot in his chocolate factory in years, until now. Five golden tickets are hidden in Wonka’s chocolate bars. Whoever finds the tickets wins the once in a lifetime opportunity to visit the factory. You probably guessed by the name of the film that Charlie finds a ticket.
We learn what Wonka has been doing for the past few years; stumbling on a race of cocoa bean-worshiping Oompa Loompas and trying hard to repress memories of his over-bearing dentist of a father. The story of Wilbur Wonka (played by Christopher Lee) was written especially for this film to help give a back story to, well, try to explain why Willy is the way he is. If you were stuck in a head brace that looked a lot like something out of Edward Scissorhands and was told that you were allergic to chocolate even before you’d even tried it, you probably would have felt the same.
Bring on the brats - Augustus Gloop, Violet Beauregarde, Veruca Salt and Mike Teavee, four children: spoilt, rotten, and just plain rude! Thankfully, they all get their comeuppance in some delicious way or another.

I just have to say though; the movie owes so much to one little guy... In the 1971 film, there were dozens of actors playing the Oompa Loompas, in this film, there’s only one, Deep Roy. After having to perform each scene many, many times over, the final result is brilliant. After each of the brats is ‘disposed of’, out come the Oompa Loompas, with new songs and super cool costumes. At times, it is hard to hear what it is they are singing, but once you see them in silver jumpsuits, you just sit back and laugh. The music is by another long time working partner of Burton’s, composer Danny Elfman (Big Fish, Sleepy Hollow).
It’s vibrant, funny, good enough to eat, (look out for a hilarious tribute to Stanley Kubrick). Depp just keeps on delivering with his recent spate of eccentric characters like Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean, Agent Sands in Once Upon a Time in Mexico, although he denies that he based Wonka’s character on Michael Jackson (the resemblance is quite eerie…). Not as dark as the other version – no shots of chickens getting their heads cut of – it scarred me as a child… Look out for Burton’s next film later this year, The Corpse Bride, an animated film a bit like Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas. Depp lends his voice as Victor, a man who ends up with a corpse for a bride (hence the title) and is joined again by Helen Bonham-Carter, Christopher Lee, Danny Elfman, and even Deep Roy.

Battlestar Galactica

Battlestar Galactica the mini-series, landed on our TV screens a short time ago. It set the stage for the TV series, which has almost finished the first season on Aussie TV. Just over three hours long (and available on DVD with great bonus features) it begins to tell the story of the last remaining humans in the universe. Richard Hatch who played ‘Apollo’ in the original 1978 version of the series (not the guy from Survivor) planned to remake BSG in the 1990’s but it got shelved. He now guest stars in the new series as Ted Zarek – a very interesting character...
About fifty years ago man made the Cylons, a race of machines created to make our lives easier. But they grew intelligent and fought a vicious war rebelling against the humans. Each of the Twelve Colonies of Man built a Battlestar to aid the fight but most were destroyed in the war. The Battlestar Galactica was built by the Colony of Caprica and now, forty years after the war it is about to be decommissioned and turned into a museum with it’s Commander William Adama (Edward James Olmos) looking forward to retirement. But, as all movies go, when someone is about to retire, something always goes horribly wrong.
Doctor Gauis Baltar (James Callis – Bridget Jones’ Diary) has been working on a defence network against the Cylons in Caprica when he meets Number Six (Tricia Helfer), one of many Cylons who has evolved to look human. She has acquired information about the defence network and passed information on to the Cylons. A global attack is imminent.
Word reaches the Battlestar Galactica of a massive attack on their twelve colonies and Commander Adama is quick to take charge and prepares the aging ship for war. But, with the President killed on Caprica, Laura Roslin, (Mary McDonnell) Caprica’s Secretary for Education, is forced into the role of President and is more concerned in gathering all available ships and starting a rescue operation. To add to the troubles, she has just found out she has breast cancer, Commander Adama’s estranged son Captain Lee ‘Apollo’ Adama (Jamie Bamba) comes aboard the ship after two years of them not speaking, and Lieutenant Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace (Katee Sackhoff) has just been thrown on the brig for punching her superior officer Colonel Saul Tigh (Michael Hogan).

The Evolution of Starbuck

There is so much to like about this series. Written by ex-Star Trek writer Ronald D. Moore, he leaves behind the cold and sterile environment of the Star Trek series and adds depth and heart to the characters and puts them in real(-ish) situations. There aren’t any transporters so no one accidentally gets beamed up as something alien, no techno-babble involving redirecting power to the deflector shields to stabilise the dilithium matrix in the warp core. No whiny theme songs, just a fantastic arrangement of tension-building percussion.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a huge Star Trek fan, I have a DS9 communicator to prove it, but there’s just something in BSG that was lacking in Star Trek (especially Enterprise, but that’s another two pages!). There is a real sense of struggle, of life threatening situations, for individuals and the human race as a species. Even the style of filming - with quick camera zooms and focusing, the screen shaking when guns are fired - it really makes you feel that you are there, almost documentary style much like Joss Whedon’s Firefly. Huge thumbs up for this one, I will have a really hard time waiting until the next series.

Super Hero Movies

With ever growing gaps in my T.V viewing schedule (no more ER, no more Alias, no more 24) it’s time to go back to the DVD rack to fill in all those extra hours that, well, could be better spent doing more important things, but hey.
This month I will be looking a couple of those Super Hero Super Movies. I took out a small sample of super flicks to watch. The best, by far, would have to be the 1966 Batman movie. Starring TV’s Adam West as Batman and Burt Ward as his faithful sidekick Robin, this classic was directed by Leslie H Martinson. Full of colour, more corny one-liners than James Bond and a lot of alliteration, Batman: The Movie has all of your favourite bad guys. The Penguin, Joker, Riddler and Cat Woman join together in an attempt to take over the world – as they usually did on TV. See Batman fight a fake blue shark only to defeat it with a can of ‘Shark Repellant Bat Spray’, see the Bat Copter with the Bat Ladder, the Bat Boat, and inside the Bat Cave with everything so clearly marked – when was the last time you mistook a magnifying glass for a drinking water dispenser?
With more technical gadgets than Star Trek and special effects that would make George Lucas blush, this Batman movie is so much better than the recent remakes. Now available on DVD in a ‘Holy Special Edition’ with interviews with Adam West, Burt Ward and the maker of the Bat Mobile.

Holy Dramatic Pause – Batman!

It seems that many scientific laboratories in the U.S.A have pretty lax Health and Safety procedures. One mistake, one explosion, one bite from a genetically engineered spider is all it takes to turn an average Joe into a mutant Super Hero or Super Villain.

Tobey Maguire – Climbing the walls in Spider-Man

Spidey-sense tingling?? Y’all must go and see Spider-Man 2 with Alfred Molina (Chocolat) as bad guy Doc Oc. The ‘Spot the Stan Lee’ game is available in this movie; as usual he is only in the shot briefly. A bit more emotionally grounding than the first one, we see how being a super-dude can be taxing on a young Peter Parker. With Mary-Jane about to get married and Harry Osborne obsessed about avenging his father’s death and his Aunt about to be evicted, Peter decides to take a break. S2 has great special effects and a really good lead up to S3.

Not so ‘Super’ Super Heroes

When Mystery Men came out in 1999I was working at a video shop. I saw it at the cinema, I bagsed the preview tape at my shop, I bought my own copy to watch over and over again. Captain Amazing (Greg Kinnear) is captured by the recently released Casanova Frankenstein (Geoffrey Rush) and the only heroes left in the city are the Mystery Men. Ben Stiller – Roy, Janeane Garofolo -Baby Bowler, Hank Azaria –The Blue Rajah, William H Macy – The Shoveler, teams up with the Invisible Boy, the Sphinx and the Spleen (Want to know his power? Pull his finger) to rescue Captain Amazing. This hilarious super-spoof will make you laugh as the team fight over whether or not Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing, but Lance Hunt wears glasses and Captain Amazing doesn’t wear glasses. Heaps of clichés but heaps of fun. 10 thumbs up for this one!!

Amelie

Rummaging through my harddrive this afternoon I came across a whole bunch of movie reviews I wrote for a staff magazine at my old job. I thought, what the hell, I'll pop them on here and take up some space, besides, the internet has plenty of space.

Amelie shows her stealth by hiding behind a pane of glass

Trying to think of a movie to review for this issue I looked thru my DVD collection to find my favourite French movie. I didn’t have to go far (everything of mine is in alphabetical order) Amelie was very close to the top of the pile. Directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Alien Resurrection, A Very Long Engagement) the feel-good French flick was nominated a few Oscars ago for Best Foreign Film (yes, it has subtitles) and Best Actress. It was the movie that bought back the French accordion (was it ever not in?).
Amelie Poulain lives Paris in a small apartment by herself. She is an introvert with a very extroverted imagination. The narrator introduces us to the people around her with their likes and dislikes. Her mother, Amandine, who has shaky nerves, dislikes puckered fingers from being in the bath too long and one of her friends’ cats like listening to children’s stories.
Amelie is a waitress at the Two Windmills Café along with Georgette, a hypochondriac in charge of the cigarette counter, Suzanne, an ex-circus performer and Gina, granddaughter of a healer. While in her bathroom one night she comes across a small metal box filled with a young boy’s childhood treasures. She sets out to find the box’s owner to return it to him. Her neighbour, Raymond Dufayel, who paints Renoir’s ‘Luncheon of the Boating Party’ once a year and won’t go outside, puts her on the right path. Determined to be up there with Mother Teresa for going good, she sometimes sways from her goal to occasionally pull a few pranks on a not-so-nice grocer Mr. Collignon. Sneaking into his apartment she swaps his toothpaste for foot cream, replaces his slippers with ones that are a size too small.
Then there’s Nino Quincampoix (Mathieu Kassovitz) who used to collect photos of footprints in cement and tape recordings of unusual laughs, now he collects torn, discarded photos at photo booths and sticks them back together in an album. He loses the album and in a bizarre chain of events he finally meets up with our girl, Amelie. ‘Amelie’ or ‘Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amelie Poulain’ is an absolutely delightfully, fantastic film, perfect for spring viewing. Full of life, vibrant colour, and handy hints to annoy nasty neighbours, Jeunet has done a marvelous job putting this gem together. It’s quirky sequences and unique characters almost knocked ‘Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark’ off my ‘Best.Movie.Ever’ pedestal. (Don’t worry Indie, you’re safe for a while longer).
Its two-hour length seems to fly by, I wish it were longer! Enjoy with a big mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows and a yummy Crème Brulee.

D-Day

All Dex'd up...

According to Golden Globe winner (!) Michael C Hall's press room interview (below), today (well, Wednesday in the US) is the day those brilliant writers of Dexter go back to work and find out just what will happen to our favourite serial killer in season five.
The last season ended with the mother of all endings (OMFGWTF!!!), ranked up there, I reckon, with the season five finale of Lost. The question must be asked, what the devil does that mean for Dexter Morgan, his family, and the show?
Showtime has signed the show up for at least one more season (this one). Frankly, if they hadn't done that then I'd be writing some very stern emails to the necessary authorities. Will they push on for another year? Granted there are reasons both for and against.
Setting an end date has worked spectacularly for the producers of Lost. As soon as Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse capped a six season limit the show really took off, and what a frak of a good ride it has been. Gone were there constant questioning of 'do they know what they're doing?' and 'are they making it up as they go?' (The answer to both those questions has always been a clear and resounding, BUGGER THE FRAK OFF!) They were able to set out episode by episode what key plot points and story arcs needed to be where and stuck with it.
Sure they adjusted course a little after listening to the fans and created the characters Nikko & Paulo, then they listened to the fans again and subsequently killed them off, but hey, they LISTENED. The writer's strike threw things out of whack a bit but I think it gave them extra time to regroup, plan ahead and work out all those time travel shenannigans that royally messed up the minds of fans across the globe in season five. Planning ahead for long running shows is a must.
On the other hand, we have Heroes. A show that started out so well, it was super cool seeing all those geeky characters with super powers, sorry, abilities, and Hiro was the best (Yatta!) and Peter Petrelli was a spunk but now... I have no idea what is going on anymore. Greg Grunberg (who plays Matt Parkman) says not even his mum watches it anymore (see below)! Sometime during season two things just started to fall apart. Perhaps it was changing writers, I don't know. What I do know is that it's a mess at the moment. They lost sight of the end goal. There is no end goal, so it seems. They need to set an end date and start tying up all those hopelessly frazzled and split loose ends. Maybe they should get some Pantene, it won't happen over night but it will happen.
Another example is Flash Forward. Planning ahead is good but not half way through the first season. The show has only just begun but word is out already there's some rethinking going on during the hiatus. I really enjoyed the first episode or two then it just lost steam. I don't know if it was Joseph Fiennes whiny accent or the fact the story is so darn sluggish. Flash Forward to me is like pistachio ice cream. It seemed like a great idea at the time but when you get your teeth into it... eerrrggghhhh. Let's hope those guys work stuff out over the break. Or, I might just buy the book and find out what happens myself without having to listen to another word Fiennes says.
Will Dexter go the way of Heroes? I don't think so, I don't think they'd let it. Sure, the writers have a bit of a familiar theme guiding each season with their 'Big Bad' and so far it has worked, but for how long? They've got some great writing talent on the show, playing with our minds, making is question our morality, twisting us this way and that. I forgive them for what they did at the end of season four. Truth be told, I'm glad they did it. You've gotta do what the story needs you to do. And bloody oath, they did alright. They've got some balls.
All in all, I'm sure they know when to pull the plug. Even though I'd still watch it if they didn't. It's that bloody good.

Goat staring 101

While we wait for The Men Who Stare At Goats to come out, lets take a moment and stare at this goat...



I think he really wants Mark, or Bob.

Michael C Hall - press room interview

Lost fans to be more annoying...

... is that even possible?

From The Onion


Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever

And the Golden Globe goes to...

Michael C Hall - Best Serial Killer

The 67th Golden Globe awards are over, I'm sure some recipients may not have made it home yet. This year was the first time the awards night had a host in fifteen years. I hope they ask Ricky Gervais back, he was brilliant!
Some highlights of the night...
Ricky Gervais saying he enjoys a drink as much as the next man unless the next man is Mel Gibson.
Dexter taking out two awards, Best Actor in TV Drama, Michael C Hall and Best Supporting Actor in TV Drama, John Lithgow. My two favourite serial killers.
Michael C Hall looking well accepting his award after an announcement last week that he was being treated for cancer.
Robert Downey Jr winning Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical Film
Mo'Nique's heart felt speech for Best Supporting Actress for Precious.
Jeff Bridges getting a standing ovation when accepting his award.
Christophe Waltz winning Best Supporting Actor for Inglourious Basterds.
Martin Scorsese receiving the Cecil B DeMille award, talking about the history of film and the importance of preservation.

Some shocks... well, unexpected award winners...
Sandra Bullock Best Actress for Blindside? All About Steve was one of the worst movies I'd ever seen. I'm gonna have to check that one out.
Avatar for Best Picture? Sure it was visually stunning and technologically groundbreaking but 'Best Picture'?
No awards for Quentin Tarantino?



BEST TELEVISION SERIES, DRAMA
Big Love
Dexter
House
*Mad Men
True Blood

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES, DRAMA
Glenn Close, Damages
January Jones, Mad Men
*Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife
Anna Paquin, True Blood
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES, DRAMA
Simon Baker, The Mentalist
*Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Hugh Laurie, House
Bill Paxton, Big Love

BEST TELEVISION SERIES, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
30 Rock
Entourage
*Glee
Modern Family
The Office

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
*Toni Collette, United States of Tara
Courteney Cox, Cougar Town
Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
Lea Michele, Glee

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
*Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Steve Carell, The Office
David Duchovny, Californication
Thomas Jane, Hung
Matthew Morrison, Glee

BEST MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Georgia O'Keefe
*Grey Gardens
Into the Storm
Little Dorrit
Taking Chance

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Joan Allen, Georgia O'Keefe
*Drew Barrymore, Grey Gardens
Jessica Lange, Grey Gardens
Anna Paquin, The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler
Sigourney Weaver, Prayers for Bobby

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
*Kevin Bacon, Taking Chance
Kenneth Branagh, Wallander: One Step Behind
Chiewetel Ejiofor, Endgame
Brendan Gleeson, Into the Storm
Jeremy Irons, Georgia O'Keefe

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Jane Adams, Hung
Rose Byrne, Damages
Jane Lynch, Glee
Janet McTeer, Into the Storm
*Chloe Sevigny, Big Love

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINISERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Michael Emerson, Lost
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
William Hurt, Damages
*John Lithgow, Dexter
Jeremy Piven, Entourage

BEST MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
*Avatar
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
Up in the Air

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
Emily Blunt, The Young Victoria
*Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Helen Mirren, The Last Station
Carey Mulligan, An Education
Gabourey Sidibe, Precious

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, DRAMA
*Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
George Clooney, Up in the Air
Colin Firth, A Single Man
Morgan Freeman, Invictus
Tobey Maguire, Brothers

BEST MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
(500) Days of Summer
*The Hangover
It's Complicated
Julie & Julia
Nine

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Sandra Bullock, The Proposal
Marion Cotillard, Nine
Julia Roberts, Duplicity
Meryl Streep, It's Complicated
*Meryl Streep, Julie and Julia

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE, COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Matt Damon, The Informant!
Daniel Day-Lewis, Nine
*Robert Downey Jr., Sherlock Holmes
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, (500) Days of Summer
Michael Stuhlbarg, A Serious Man

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
Coraline
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Princess and the Frog
*Up

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Baaria (Italy)
Broken Embraces (Spain)
The Maid (Chile)
A Prophet (France)
*The White Ribbon (Germany)

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
Penelope Cruz, Nine
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
*Mo'Nique, Precious
Julianne Moore, A Single Man

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
Matt Damon, Invictus
Woody Harrelson, The Messenger
Christopher Plummer, The Last Station
Stanley Tucci, The Lovely Bones
*Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

BEST DIRECTOR
Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
*James Cameron, Avatar
Clint Eastwood, Invictus
Jason Reitman, Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

BEST SCREENPLAY
Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell, District 9
Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
Nancy Meyers, It's Complicated
*Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner, Up in the Air
Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
*Michael Giacchino, Up
Marvin Hamlisch, The Informant!
James Horner, Avatar
Abel Korzeniowski, A Single Man
Karen O and Carter Burwell, Where the Wild Things Are

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
"Cinema Italiano," Music and Lyrics by Maury Yeston (Nine)
"I Want to Come Home," Music and Lyrics by Paul McCartney (Everybody's Fine)
"I Will See You," Music by James Horner, Simon Franglen; Lyrics by James Horner, Simon Franglen and Kuk Harrell (Avatar)
*"The Weary Kind," Music and Lyrics by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett (Crazy Heart)
"Winter," Music by U2; Lyrics by Bono (Brothers)

Things You Never Noticed About Lost

Things You Never Noticed About Lost
Past Perceptions and Future Theories
by 'Vozzek'


I've almost finished season four of my super duper Lost re-watch before it returns to the screen for its final mind-f*ck of a season in a couple of weeks (longest weeks EVER), what better time to read this book.
I've been following Vozzek's 'Things I Noticed' entries for a couple of seasons now and each one I read I end up totally gobsmacked and watching the episode again. Now he's written a book and it multiplied that gob-smackiness by one thousand. I feel like I can now watch the show with Steve Austin's bionic eyes... and ears.
Lost is... hard to describe. Um... frikken awesome! I tell people I love the show and they say it doesn't answer any questions. I tell them, if you want answers, watch a quiz show. I'm still torn about the final season, I want to see what happens but then I don't want it to end. Maybe that last day will be a good day to find a therapist.
On to the book. Vozzek expands on some of his theories that he has posted on the website and also delves into some popular (and not so popular) theories of others floating around the Lost-verse. I've almost ruined the poor book after one reading, dog-tagging pages for easy reference. I think I might have to attack it with a highlighter next...
The thing that makes this book so darn good is his eye for detail and dissecting what a 'one time viewer' might think the most tedious, incidental things. But that is what being a die-hard Lost fan is all about, finding those precious 'Easter eggs' and evaluating the hell out of them, looking up weird stuff on wikipedia, and studying screen captures frame by frame, not seeing your family and friends for months at a time. Those Easter eggs are, after all, put there for a reason.
I started listening to the ODI podcast with Vozzek and friends during the last season and one topic they mentioned, and V goes into greater detail in the book, is character's voices not matching the person who is talking. There are dozens of examples of this. I found another one today in S04E11 Cabin Fever (29:36) Abaddon is talking to Locke in the hospital about Locke going on a walkabout and Abaddon says that he found out 'who I was'. Now as he says this three words, his voice is duplicated. By who's voice, I don't know, but it's those little things that need to be noticed.
Vozzek discusses how people's perceptions of what is going on alters what we see. Items moved around in Ben's fridge from one scene to the next, photo frames being rearranged on a wall, things change according to who sees them. Characters are frequently drugged, knocked out, waking up, it's no wonder things aren't always what they seem to be.
Why does Hurley see Charlie at the Santa Rosa Mental Institute after Charlie had died? What are the whispers? Did the Oceanic Six actually go back to the real world? What could be so special about Jack choosing the black thread for his stitches in the Pilot episode? This book has intelligent and well researched theories on those questions and a whole lot more you probably never thought to ask.
Anyone who wants to understand more about Lost needs to read this book. Simple as that. It's so well written and easy to read, it's very interactive. I love reading a theory, finding that episode and watching what he's discussing, going back to the book to read some more. I sure hope he writes another one when it's all over.

You can purchase his book from here... thingsinoticed.com and he will even autograph it for you!
After watching the Swan hatch orientation film John Locke said, 'We're gonna have to watch that again.'
I'm gonna have to read this again.
Ten thumbs up.

Wait a minute...

From here

Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists Adjusts Clock From 5 to 6 Minutes Before Midnight; Encouraging Progress Seen Around Globe in Both Key Threat Areas: Nuclear Weapons and Climate Change.

NEW YORK CITY///January 14, 2010///Citing a more "hopeful state of world affairs" in relation to the twin threats posed by nuclear weapons and climate change, the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (BAS) is moving the minute hand of its famous Doomsday Clock one minute away from midnight. It is now 6 minutes to midnight. The decision by the BAS Science and Security Board was made in consultation with the Bulletin's Board of Sponsors, which includes 19 Nobel Laureates.

BAS announced the Clock change today at a news conference in New York City broadcast live at http://www.TurnBackTheClock.org for viewing around the globe. The new BAS Web platform allows people in all nations to monitor and get involved in efforts to move the Doomsday Clock farther away from midnight.

In a statement supporting the decision to move the minute hand of the Doomsday Clock, the BAS Board said: "It is 6 minutes to midnight. We are poised to bend the arc of history toward a world free of nuclear weapons. For the first time since atomic bombs were dropped in 1945, leaders of nuclear weapons states are cooperating to vastly reduce their arsenals and secure all nuclear bomb-making material. And for the first time ever, industrialized and developing countries alike are pledging to limit climate-changing gas emissions that could render our planet nearly uninhabitable. These unprecedented steps are signs of a growing political will to tackle the two gravest threats to civilization--the terror of nuclear weapons and runaway climate change."

Quotes on a Phone

Ever wanted Samuel L Jackson in your pocket? It's your lucky day, he's released an app for the iphone...
iSamJackson



Check it out here
There's even a version not quite suitable for kiddies.
I know I'm gonna git you sucka!

Suit Up!

How I Met Your Mother celebrates its 100th episode with a song... Barney-style

Bran Nue Dae

This is the Aussie flick I've been waiting for. We make some great comedies in this country but a lot of the times they don't get the theatrical release they deserve. That stops here.
Bran Nue Dae, adapted form the stage musical and directed by Rachel Perkins is THE feel-good movie of the year with a huge Australian cast to boot. Set in Western Australia 1969, it's the story of love, finding oneself and probably the best road trip movie since The Wizard Of Oz.
Young Willie Johnson (Rocky McKenzie) finds himself following his mother Theresa's (Ningali Lawford) wishes and is begrudgingly shipped off to boarding school to become a priest. Sadly, he leaves behind his teenage crush Rosie (Jessica Mauboy).
Not quite suited to stay in a school run by Father Benedictus (Geoffrey Rush), who has a very tight reign over the tuck shop inventory, Willie runs away in hopes of going back to Broome and according to the rules of the road trip movie, that's where the adventure starts.
First he meets Uncle Tadpole (Ernie Dingo), drinking and camping out under the stars. After an alcohol-induced promise to take Willie back to Broome, Tadpole joins the journey when he literally runs into Annie and Slippery's kombi (Missy Higgins and Tom Budge) and they help get Willie back home to Rosie.
All the while Father Benedictus is on the hunt for his lost boy, eager to pull him back in the fold.
With cameos by a very hot Magda Szubanski, a foxy Debra Mailman (who seduces Willie under the shade of a condom tree!), and the Chooky Dancers (you gotta watch this video), Bran Nue Dae is a stand out film. It's a celebration of this big brown land of ours, it's indigenous owners and their culture. It's colourful and vibrant, the tunes are catchy, I will be getting the soundtrack. The ending, I won't spoil it but let's just say it's a bit of a family affair with a whole lot of happily ever after.
Things I learnt - if you're in the bush and need to replace a fan belt, a dead snake will do just nicely. Ernie Dingo is a pretty good singer.
This had better win some awards.

Superb!
Nine out of ten.

How to make Lost sandwich

Mmm nom nom nom

Found here

How To Make a Sandwich on the Island:

Jack
1. Gather ingredients
2. Point gun at ingredients and shout “HOW DO I MAKE A SANDWICH OUT OF YOU?!?!?”
3. Breathe heavily through your nose as though you were about to hit ingredients
4. Give up and make the sandwich yourself, and eat it bitterly

Kate
1. Make separate sandwiches, one with peanut butter and one with jelly
2. Take a bite of the peanut butter sandwich, declaring it the best
3. Take a bite of the jelly sandwich, declaring it the best
4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 ad infinitum
5. Follow peanut butter or jelly sandwich into grave danger

Sawyer
1. Throw the jar of jelly at wall, sneering “I don’t need no sandwich”
2. Call the mascot on the jar of peanut butter lots of clever nicknames
3. Huff and puff and stomp around and grumble a lot
4. When no one’s looking, make perfect, even, symmetrical peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sit in a corner, enjoying every bite

Locke
1. Sit idly by, believing that the ingredients will find a way to make a sandwich out of themselves
2. Lose faith and make the sandwich anyway
3. Realize that you were the instrument by which the ingredients chose to make a sandwich after all
4. Run around the room and grab everyone’s knives, insisting that their sandwiches will do the same in time

Hurley
1. Make sandwich
2. Eat sandwich
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 ad infinitum

Sayid
1. Procure 23 milligrams of uranium-20
2. Set hadron supercollider to eight megajoules
3. Program a sandwich-making macro using Cobol or Visual Basic
4. Act all tough-like

Desmond
1. Eat sandwich
2. Call the sandwich “brother”
3. Place peanut butter slice over jelly slice
4. Spread jelly on the other slice
5. Spread peanut butter on one slice
6. Take two slices of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly

Ben
1. Steal someone else’s sandwich
2. Claim you coerced them into making the sandwich for you all along
3. Say you’ll tell them everything if they make you another sandwich
4. Stare at them all creepy-like

Libby
1. Lay out plans for one of the most intricate, fascinating, and delicious sandwiches of all time
2. Just as you start making it, get shot

Danielle
1. Apply peanut butter
2. Disappear for eight months
3. Apply jelly
4. Disappear for eight months
5. Eat sandwich

Claire
1. Mmmmmmm, peanut butter

Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse
1. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
2. Have someone take a bite, then tell them it’s a baloney sandwich
3. Make up a whole bunch of other shit, then say you had planned it all along
4. Buy a few yachts

The A-Team trailer

Heck yes!!

Time to change your ringtone...

Lost fans unite!

The TV show that beat the Presidency... well sorta

Lost fans were chucking a major tanty this week, and rightly so as President Obama planned his State of the Union address on the same night as the season 6 premier! Oh no he frikken di-n't!
But thanks to the power of the tweet and facebook they've kindly agreed to let us crazed fans enjoy the three hour finale on it's original air date.



and this from Damon Lindelof's twitter page



Not long now my pretties...

Kick-Ass trailer

New trailer out for Kick-Ass



'Tool-up, Honey Bunny'

Things to ask Google

I saw this on the Graham Norton Show. All you do it start to type a question or a sentence into Google and see what the most common searches are.
For example...

So a lot of people are wondering why there is a dead Pakistani on their couch, and are also concerned about the jobs shortage in Asia.
Edit - I just remembered that line is from Lost... Hurley brings an unconscious Sayid to his house and his mum asks 'why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch.'
Mystery solved : )

Lots of questions about Chuck Norris. Of course he's a god.

Lost - new posters

So, wait... Locke is Jesus?

From here

Lost in 8:15 - new!

Need a catch up before the final season of Lost starts in February? Got a spare 8 minutes 15 seconds?

Legion trailer

Sweet!

Self Potato

Ahh... yup... self potato

What is Paul?

I'm glad you asked, Paul is a new movie by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, those funny-arse Brits wot brung us Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Also starring Jason Bateman, Sigourney Weaver, Jeffrey Tambour, it's your typical road-trip-across-America-with-an-alien-called-Paul-voiced-by-Seth-Rogen movie and I can't bloody wait till it comes out.
Here's a video of Simon Pegg talking with one of the film's producers.


More Paul goodies here

Bright Star

How different this is from the other films I've seen recently. No big explosions, no computer generated images flashing urgently and vying for my attention. Bright Star is a holiday away from all that glitter and show, relying instead on actual character and story.
It is the story of John Keats, early nineteenth century romantic poet, and his doomed love affair with Fanny Brawne. Doomed because he had no money to marry her (as that was the way of the time) and also because of his untimely death.
Written and directed by New Zealander Jane Campion, Bright Star is set in Hampstead where Fanny (Abby Cornish) lives with her mother, (Kerry Fox) and her two younger siblings Sam (Thomas Sangster) and 'Toots' (Edie Martin). After Keats' brother Tom passes away, he moves into rooms at the house at Hampstead with fellow poet Charles Armitage Brown (Paul Schnieder) who is, I must say, portrayed here as a bit of a prick, but he does a very good job at being a prick!
Fanny Brawne, almost like the Coco Chanel of her time, designs and makes all of her own clothes. She meets Keats and falls in love, exchanging letters whenever they are apart. Due to Keats' lack of funds, her mother isn't too keen for them to marry, instead sending her off to dances to meet someone more suitable in the financial department. At Hampstead her and Keats go for long walks in the forests always followed by loyal Sam and curious Toots.
Something must be said about the costuming in this film, just splendid. I do like a good bonnet movie and this was a movie with good bonnets! The attention to detail, with set decoration and even lighting, is impeccable.
Ben Whishaw (Perfume) plays Keats with a quiet melancholy that is often found in genius. His steady decay as what would later be diagnosed as tuberculosis takes its hold is very sad to watch. The moment Brown tells the Brawne family of Keats death is heart-wrenching.
Both Cornish and Whishaw put in sterling performances, its very easy to get pulled into their world of love and letters.
I must admit, I've never read any of Keats' work but I will now. It is such a shame that genius is rarely discovered when it's maker is still alive. A brilliant and moving film.

Bright Star

Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art--
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever--or else swoon to death.

A collection of Keats' letters to Fanny Brawne can be found here

Cemetery Junction trailer

Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant bring their special flavour of mirth to the cinema this year

The Fantastic Mr Fox

Ocean's 11 meets The Muppets

The Fantastic Mr Fox is very aptly named. It is indeed, fantastic. Directed by the King of Quirk, Wes Anderson, Fox is based on a children's novel by Roald Dahl and like any of Wes Anderson's films, it is jam packed with talent.
Geroge Clooney lends his voice to the overly ambitious, always planning Mr Fox, Meryl Streep is his wife. Jason Schwartzman plays angst ridden, athlete wanna-be Ash, their son. Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe, Michael Gambon, Owen Wilson, the list goes on.
Mr Fox gives up a life of crime of stealing squab (kinda like pigeons). Living in a hole with his wife and son Ash, Fox turns good and starts writing a regular column in the Gazette newspaper. After moving into a new tree with his family and good friend/plumber/opossum Kylie, Mr Fox gets the itch and plans one last crime...
High on the hill are three farmers, Boggis, Bunce and Bean who sell chickens, ducks and cider respectively. In a plot that involves an abundance of bandit masks, sedative-laced blueberries and a whole lot of digging, Mr Fox inevitably gets himself in deep trouble, and that's where the fun starts.
Stop-motion animation has come a long way since the plasticine days of Jason and the Argonauts and Clash of the Titans. The Fantastic Mr Fox is sophisticated, elegant and very clever. Anderson has captured the actors personal nuances and movements in the characters, it was like George Clooney had an animal suit on and the way Ash got up in the morning and brushed his teeth was just like watching Schwartzman himself.
It's one of those 'not just for kids' kids flicks. It's fun, there's laughs a plenty, the only gripe I have was that it wasn't long enough, I was enjoying it so much.
Things I learnt... beagles love blueberries and the word 'cuss' is a good substitution for cuss words, try saying 'cluster-cuss' instead. Definitely my favourite flick of the year so far.
9 thumbs up.